Real Balance

We are all so blessed to be here and experience life on this planet. 

The universe is a dynamic balance of creation and destruction. It’s like when my child builds a Lego set, only to destroy it and use the pieces again and again to create more, new and interesting things. This is our life! It is not supposed to be “happy” all the time. You don’t need to FIND balance. Life is already in balance, and nature will hold it there. We are here to experience and create again and again on this planet. 

So if you are in a place of destruction, look around you and locate those pieces that you can use to rebuild and re create. That’s your path, my fellow beings. I hope you find those gems & create something beautiful.

Finding balance in your life does not mean that you create equal amounts of time for different activities, thereby by creating balance. Finding balance in your life, is to find the place where you can sit still, in the middle of the  turmoil of life, and observe the balance that is, without being taken for a ride on the emotional rollercoaster. It’s like sitting in the middle of the seesaw. You see the up and down, the creating and destruction, the “good and bad”, but you yourself remain peaceful and calm. Observing with gratitude and awe, the power of life. From this seat, you can see clearly that “heaven” is actually right here on Earth. 

We take so much for grated here on Earth. If there is an imbalance on this planet, it is directly caused by humanity. By the mass number of humans who remain un awake & living in the ongoing programing. It is our duty to wake up and realize the beauty of our planet, the perfection and balance, and to not work so hard as we do to throw it out of whack. Mother Nature will be in balance. Until she decides to remake this planet into some other creation. 

Lets not push her shall we? Instead, maybe we can get out of her way and allow her to create. Maybe we can see the perfection and not mess with it. Maybe we can be a part of the beauty, wake up to our own divinity. You were made perfect already. Everything was and is whole and perfect and beautiful and ever changing. 

Enjoy it! Stop fretting! Look around you & witness the creation!


Teaching Non Violence in a Violent World

To teach non violence, we need to approach it with love and compassion, NOT counter violence.

Anyone acting out in anger and violence is hurt in some way. Be it recently or deep in the past. Sometimes it is in the ancestral past, long gone in physical form, but very present in energetic form. This energetic inheritance explains why sometimes violence seems to sprout from no where. Punishing by anger & violence will only escalate the problem and reinforce violence as way to behave. Perpetuating the action.

This is very difficult work. Mostly because to really be effective, one needs to dig deep inside themselves, find the burden that we have been passed from our ancestors, and begin to unpack it, analyze it and somehow find compassion and forgiveness for all of them and ourselves. Only then can we teach how to be non violent. It comes from within.

My child is very sensitive to being teased, his feelings get hurt when his pain is not acknowledged. I am that way as well. I speculate that his dad is as well. He and I both come from ancestors who have a created a great deal of havoc. It is up to us to stop it, within ourselves, and then gift this inner peace to our child. Not an easy task, but I believe a crucial one.

Change takes time. Growth takes time. Learning takes time. I know for myself, it has taken many years of violent interactions and self introspection to come to this place of peace where I am now. It is not easy, I work very hard to stay here. But it IS getting easier! Practice, practice, practice. Constant mental diligence.

Children are mirrors for our own behaviors. They reflect our ancestral heritage. And if we want them to act better, we must change in ourselves first.  Knowing this doesn’t make it any less frustrating when faced with a sassy, hitting, 8 year old, intent on pushing all your buttons, who doesn’t listen. But when we come at this issue with compassion, knowing that our children have gotten all that same ancestral programing that WE have had to deal with, it is easier to give a hug and acknowledge their pain and frustration.

That alone can change everything. We all just want to be heard, seen and loved.

I work daily at taking my own advice. Not perfection, but progress.

I wish you many Blessings,


Trust Your Divine Feelings

I asked a question to powers that be, with my inner voice. “What am I supposed to be doing? Please tell me, let me know, what am I supposed to do.”

“Just follow your heart.” I heard from inside.

“Follow my heart?! I can’t do that! I can’t trust my heart!” I thought back, without hesitation.

Whew. This hit me like a ton of bricks. What a realization. “I can’t trust my heart!” My beautiful, loving heart. My heart that would give and give and give. Love and love. Turn the other cheek. Always put others first. Do all the selfless things it was taught to do. I no longer trust my own heart. The loss. I cried at the realization.

It seems that through years, I have been following the hearts of others and ignoring my own heart. I wonder when this began in my life. What a curse to bear.

So here I am now, working on setting appropriate boundaries to protect my heart. Reconnecting with my heart. Learning to trust my heart again. Or maybe it is more accurate to say, learning to feel my true heart in the first place. Instead of trying to figure out other people’s hearts! This is a plight for so many of us who have the similar burden of a people pleasing nature. You & I can rewrite this program.

Putting others needs above your own, is not actually a good thing, as so many of us were taught to believe. The way it should be taught is this. Put your own needs in order first, be the best you can be, fill your cup, then you have the power, with all your gifts flowing, to serve others. If you just give and give, try to please and help and placate, you will not last long, you will be tapped out and your efforts will mount to nothing. Precisely because you are not here to serve an other’s heart. You MUST give to your own heart first all the things your heart is calling for. Then, in that place, you will have gotten in touch with your true gifts, and from there you can serve others tremendously. You will be using your gifts to serve others in such a way that it helps them to serve their own hearts. It is a subtle, powerful shift. One to contemplate for sure. I myself am working on this daily.

I have never trusted my own heart, or even listened to it for that matter. I didn’t even know it! I realize that now. I have been following others hearts. Attempting to do the work of other hearts. Which, actually, is impossible because only each individual can do the work of their own heart. Basically I have been depleting myself and wasting many years in futile doings of all sorts. I meant well of course! I thought I was doing good deeds for others! Haha! But, I was miserable and dying inside. I can not tell you how happy I am now, to have discovered this. It is life changing.

I have heard this all said before, for years! But hearing the words and understanding them is VERY different than living the words and walking the life path. But it does feel good. It is a subtle mind shift that has tremendous impact both on myself and those around me.

It is effort to keep checking in with my heart, I need steady reminders. I literally set alarms on my phone and when it dings, I take a moment to check my feels. It works!

Getting in touch with and learning to trust my own heart’s calling, is my current ongoing task. I am doing what I know how to do to make that happen. This includes sitting in silence, asking myself what I need to do, writing and listening. Listening most of all. Feeling the feelings. Did you know our hearts communicate with feelings? So I ask myself, about everything, how does it feel. How does it feel? Then I make my choice based on that.

I have been creating my space with feeling intention. Creating space where I feel safe. Where I feel like I love myself and am surrounded by love. I feel respect for myself and I feel I trust myself. My decisions now are made slowly, with feeling! It is truly magical, peaceful and powerful.

Our hearts and our feelings are our divine guidance system. I wish I had known this long ago instead of believing that the feelings of others were always more important than mine. Or that certain feelings were unacceptable! Like anger!

I am wiser now. I feel all the feels and follow them.

New Year, Same Journey

I have been avoiding my computer for a few weeks now. I actually had a dream that I got rid it. Right after I traded it, for some audio equipment, then I traded it right back. I thought, Wait?! I NEED that! I am a photographer and I need that! At the very minimum I need Lightroom and email just to keep up. Then I woke up. Happy to still have my computer.

As this year comes to a close, I am taking a moment of reflection. I have come to so many revelations this year, subtle and powerful. The number one spot goes to releasing. Release! Release! Release! (Maybe why I dreamt I traded my computer for music?) Let go of all the “should” and “shouldn’t”. Relax and release! Be grateful for where you are RIGHT NOW. There is SO much power in this. I can feel that it has the power to change the course of my life.

The mindset for releasing, forgiving, letting go, is so subtle, and to keep it takes some real diligence and thought adjustment. Tiny little adjustments that bring about great change. You are cutting the ties that you have put on yourself, but first you have to find them! Looking within and fishing out the untruths we have ourselves believing is that hard part. Then let them go.

So I began to let go. I let go of people, their actions & reactions, I let go of events and their ripples, I let go of things I think I SHOULD be doing. I let go and just be. As I move into the realm of just being, I realize I have everything. I actually have MORE than I need. I am living in abundance. Wow, that was a powerful mind shift!

Our lives unfold as they are meant to be for our growth. I believe that. We learn the lessons we are meant to learn if we can open ourselves to that. My lessons this year were hard and I fought to learn them, to let go. It was not an easy task and required many, many hours of heavy thinking. But with diligence and determination, the door cracked open for me. My thinking shifted, I learned. I began to feel grateful.

From having gratitude for my abundance, I experienced a synchronicity that was truly beautiful. Literally as if the path I was about to walk, was appearing under my feet. I can not explain it. It was like magic. I have experienced this in my life before a few times. I wrote about one of those times here. But, now I want to be able to access that magical realm at will. Actually, I want to exist there, I want that perfect placement every day. Alignment. Synchronicity. Magic.

I believe that learning is a continual process and not a one time thing, so in this coming year I will work on continuing to let go and release daily and moment by moment, in every aspect of my life. Living with great gratitude for life and all it’s happenings. I will work on creating more with my thinking and enjoying with gratitude more of my current environment. The results of this are tangible.

New Year’s? This New Year’s Eve I will most likely be home with my child, 7. Most likely watching Jurassic Park and playing Legos. Reading and drinking chamomile tea together. Enjoying each others company with no expectations.

Many Blessings, Kristin