It felt like everything I had was being taken from me. All of it. Everything I thought I knew, all that I thought I wanted, all that I could count on, gone. I was a mess, lying on the floor crying like a small child who didn’t get the candy they wanted, tears and snot streaming down my cheeks. I was a sight. I could not stop crying, I could not move from the floor. The feeling of loss was tremendous.
Beyond what I have ever felt before.
Loss of myself.
My heart was breaking. Crushed, smashed, pulverised. Shards of crystal on the dessert of my chest. Broken. Gone.
But all was not lost. Look…
As a crab grows, she must break out of her shell, herself! She slowly detaches from and pulls out of the hardened shell that has protected her for so long. It’s time to grow. The shell is pushed off and there she sits, raw, vulnerable. A soft shell crab. She expands her newly exposed body, then slowly begins to heal her skin, her shell, into the new, greater version of herself.
My heart was puleverised and like the soft shell crab, it is now raw, vulnerable and expanding. This is a precious time.
This expansion brings self love, Self acceptance, presence. Love of my own being. I am ready. I am raw. I am open. I am love.